After the Wedding

I’m one of those women who has been dreaming of my wedding for as long as I can remember. Platinum Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, and My Fair Wedding with David Tutera are on heavy rotation in my house. I must admit I am quite obsessive about it. It’s really bad, like…seriously a problem. I have a binder with seating charts, menu options, etc. Everything is just about planned down to the smallest detail. (I’m just missing a man, but I’m working on it LOL)

Most women aren’t as crazy about weddings as I am. But I was talking to BFF the other day and I said, “I’ve been planning this wedding for so long, what am I gonna do when I actually get married?” she laughed and shrugged.

So many of us want this fairytale wedding that we’ve dreamed about since we were little girls. We want the big white princess dress with the tiara, and we want to be the center of attention for a day. That’s great, but what happens after the wedding, after the honeymoon in Jamaica or whatever tropical destination of your liking? Do we as women dream about what married life will be like? Not the fun parts like someone to hold you at night and take care of you when you are sick, or someone to talk to about your day at work with, but the real work. What about how you are going to be married to this person for the rest of your life? (God willing) What about when you wake up and they’re there, when you come home from work they’re there, they are ALWAYS there.

Although I’ve dreamed about the big day for forever, I’ve also thought about what marriage would be like. I have a serious need for space and time alone. Will I feel like I’m being suffocated? Will I be bored? These are valid questions, just because I’m madly in love with you in 2010 doesn’t mean that I won’t feel like I’m just going through the motions in 2030. I came to the conclusion that I’m not going to be in that in love stage throughout my entire marriage but I do know that love is going to keep us together. That new feeling fades, you have careers, children to raise, and parents that are getting old and are now depending on you. What happens then?

Don’t get caught up in the fairytale fantasy. Know that marriage is work and every day won’t be easy. The only thing that’s changed from dating is that you live with the person, (read more chances for them to drive you crazy) I had to ask myself do I want to be a wife or do I want a wedding? Maybe I should throw myself a huge party (word to Madea)