Monday, October 25, 2010

Don't Be Cute

“Nails done. Hair done. Everything did.” Drake (Fancy)

How many of us have a friend or family member whose swag is always on a hundred thousand trillion? I mean this lady is well put together from head to toe! Full MAC face without looking too overdone, has the baddest heels that no one else has, smells like heaven and her hair looks fresh out the shop every time you see her. And what happens when we know we’re going to see said friend? We try to step our game up because we don’t want to look bummy next to our local Beyonce.

Now I like to stay so fresh and so clean at all times BUT I love yoga pants and sweatshirts too. If I could wear them everyday all day I would. I prefer leave in conditioner natural free hair and straight ponytails to perfectly curled with the s swirl in the front hair. I love a full MAC face complete with #10 lashes but I also love a bit of concealer mascara and well groomed brows. Needless to say I can dress up or I can be totally dressed down. Lately I’ve noticed that people see me as this local Beyonce ( LB) (Imagine my surprise) I was headed to meet a beautiful friend from HS the other day and as we’re wrapping up our texts about when and where we’re going to meet she texts “don’t be cute” Hmmm

That text message made me think back to high school when I went to a modeling audition with a friend who told me to sit in the waiting room because if I came in the room with her they would surely choose me over her. Don’t be cute.

Not too long ago I was talking to a cousin that had recently met a new man. She says that we should all get together and have dinner or something but she doesn’t want to introduce me to him because I might steal him. Huh?

Mind you every time someone says this to me they say it in half seriousness and the other half in jest. I’m fully aware that when I’m going out (dinner, movies, club, shopping) I’m dressed but most days (headed to the gym, Safeway, or Target) I’m keeping it plain jane. I’m also aware that what these people are saying is coming from their own insecurities and it’s not about me. But people that I consider my close friends know that I am all about who a person is on the inside because looks quickly fade. So while I am flattered that I am considered the “fly friend” I’m also concerned that these people that I’m spending my time with are so concerned with my appearance and how it’s related to them. Hmmm…

Monday, October 18, 2010

What Are You?

“What are you?” is one of the most annoying questions I have ever heard and I hear it just about on a weekly basis. I am a black woman with dark skin (think of the brown crayon in the Crayola box) I have dark brown hair that I usually wear straight however its naturally curly (think Tia and Tamera Mowry in the early days) My eyes are guess what color? Brown! So I would think that anyone looking at me would assume that I am a black woman. For the most part people don’t doubt my blackness but they question if that’s the only ancestry I have. Recently I encountered a man at my local Starbucks who just had to ask the question…

Man: Hello
Me: Hi (he’s cute so I’m doing what Belle told me to do)
Man: You’re beautiful
Me: (big smile) thank you
Man: What are you if you don’t mind me asking?
Me: (straight face) Excuse me?
Man: What are you mixed with?
Me: I’m black
Man: Really? No…just tell me
Me: Well if you wanna know the truth…the same amount of Massa as everyone else
Man: Huh (confused face)

This scenario is almost the exact same as what the character Tayiler went through in my favorite book, Behind Those Eyes by T.P. Carter. Most people see this as a compliment. Why? Why must we reject our blackness and cling to “my great great grandpa was a quarter Cherokee”? Be happy with who you are because you can’t change your DNA. And hopefully one day we can get past this.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

25 By 25 part 2

Forgive yourself for mistakes. Everybody makes them the most important thing is that you’ve learned from them. (And don’t do them again)

Invest in a good face regimen.
Even though black don’t crack, take care of your skin so you’ll look like Diahann Caroll not Joan Rivers. Invest in a face cream with some spf and take off your makeup at night if nothing else.

Own at least 1 piece of clothing that makes you feel sexy.
Have a dress that fits you perfectly or a pair of heels that make your legs look like Tina Turner’s.

Buy yourself a piece of jewelry.
It will make you feel good to buy something for yourself that you can keep forever. Not having think of an ex whenever you look in your jewelry box, Priceless.

Have some money saved in case of emergency

Know the definition of love.
If someone says they love you they should also show you or else, they don’t really love you.

Treat people how you want to be treated.
You’re not alone in this world and it’s not all about you.

Know how to get around.
If you have a car, know what you need to do to maintain it. Also know your local bus routes and have the number to a taxi service in your phone. You don’t want to ever be stuck without a way out.

Speak Your Mind.
Don’t hold things back, ‘A closed mouth don’t get fed”. Speak up for what you want at your job, talk to professors at school, talk to your parents, friends and partners. Give and command respect.

Know how to handle your liquor.
We are too old to be the drunk girl at the club. Know you limits and be a lady. No one wants to have to take care of someone when everyone else just wants to have fun.

Know your wines. I’m not saying you need to have the expertise of a sommelier but know the difference between a shiraz and a chardonnay. Also know what foods go best with what wines.

Accept yourself.
Change the things that you can and need/want to and accept the things that you can’t. It’s a sign of maturity.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

25 By 25 part 1

In honor of my 25th birthday last month I made a list of 25 things that a woman should know or do by her quarter century of life.

Cook a signature dish.
We’re at the age where we are invited to dinner parties and have potlucks at work and church. Have a dish that you know is amazing and comes out great every time.

Know how to apply your own makeup and style your hair
. You don’t want to be caught out looking crazy because you couldn’t make an appt. YouTube and the artists at the MAC counter are your friends.

Travel outside of the US
. See how people live in other parts of the world. It’s also great to be able to share your travel stories in social settings.

Get tested.
Know your status. Enough said.

Go to your OBGYN.
The health of your “kitty cat” is super important. Early detection for breast and cervical cancers etc is key.

Take yourself on a solo date. Don’t depend on others to have a good time. This way you can do exactly what you want and it gives you a chance to practice your hair and makeup skills.

Have a plan for school
(if you’re not already finished) Education is key in today’s world. Figure out how to do what you love that also pays the bills. You are worth the investment.

Give back. Volunteer. Help Somebody. (word to Maxwell)

Love at least 1 part of your body and play it up.
Perfect your mascara if your eyes are your strongest feature or wear v-neck shirts and dresses if you have great cleavage.

Know you size and wear it. Looking good in your clothes will make you feel good. No one else will know what the tag in your clothes says, however they will know that you look crazy in a size 12 when you’re really a 16.

Spend time with family.
You never know how much time you have with them.

Read often.
Classics and news, not just Zane and Dickey. Not being up on current events is not cute.

Work out. Your body is a temple and you only get once treat it as such. What good is money, a fab house and car if your health is poor? You can’t enjoy it.

Friday, October 8, 2010

A P3 Adventure: The Story of John

P3 Adventures are the antics of my crew and the things the 3 of us get into when we’ve had a few drinks in us. We are truly a mess. But we don’t hurt nobody  Enjoy…

One of the places in the Bay that my crew likes to go to shop, hang, and eat is Bay Street in Emeryville. Friday night a few years back I meet up with the usual suspects and we decide to go for our usual dinner and a movie. PF Changs is the restaurant of choice for the night. I love the orange chicken but other than that the menu is so-so. So we’re ki ki-ing and enjoying the scene. It’s Friday so the spot is poppin’ with young people, not too many cuties but what can you do? Black Brotha and I are the only ones drinking because BFF isn’t much of a drinker (she loves her Arnold Palmers)

It’s a warm summer night so afterwards we end up walking towards Barnes and Noble. I see a cutie going inside so we change plans to follow. At closer inspection brotha isn’t just a cutie he’s fine. I’m talking rugged a la Michael Ealy Fine. He has on a black leather motorcycle jacket and his helmet in his hand. (I have a thing for motorcycles) So I’m like check out dude.

Let me fix my hair. Yes Ma’am! Pass me my dress. ;)

We keep and eye on him as we check out the AFAM section on the 1st level. We see nothing that we don’t already have or haven’t already read (that we want). I start looking at the journals which are always near the register because cutie is heading to pay for his books. I want a closer look and since I had a few drinks I decide to stand next to him to find out his info. I’m not usually this chick (word to Jilly from Philly) but these few martinis are making me bold.

Everyone knows when you don’t have your membership card you can give your telephone number and your purchase can be counted towards your B&N rewards card. As I’m standing super close to him looking at Vera Bradley pens I’m eavesdropping. Mind you I’m trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, so I’m looking like these are the most beautiful and interesting pens I’ve ever seen. He gives his number and I think to myself okay this is my chance. I repeat the number over and over in my mind and tell it to BFF and Black Brotha as we quickly exit after him. “What are you gonna do call him?” BFF says.
“Yeah I’m bout to call him,” I say. I just want to see if he’ll answer. They laugh but they’re down for the plan. (We sometimes do the fool when we get together) As we walk back towards PF Changs we stop and call him. The 1st number is wrong. Damn! So we try a 2nd number. OMG It’s ringing…

Ring, ring, ring…
Man: Hello
Me: (eek face) Hello
Me: Is this John? (My mind is blank on a name. Looking back the man in B&N said his name was something like Rico)
Man: Yes this is John

My friends are looking like what? I mouth that the man’s name is John. They bust out laughing and kind of walk away so that John can’t hear them.

Me: Hey John! It’s Keisha

BFF and Black Brotha are doubled over with laughter. I’m really trying to stay on track and keep a level voice. What’s even funnier is that of all the names I could choose I picked Keisha. Anyone who knows me knows that I am far from a stereotypical Keisha (no shade). I sound more like a Rachel McAdams.

Me: Don’t you remember me?
Him: (Pause) No I’m sorry I don’t
Me: John! OMG I cant believe you don’t remember me?!
Him: Ummmm no sorry.
Me: Okay well maybe I’ll see you around John (sad voice)

After I end the call I start screaming with laughter. That was the craziest thing I've ever done. (Well maybe not) “Why did you say your name was Keisha?!” Black Brotha asks me.

“I don’t know it was the first name that came to my mind” I say. They laugh even harder. We continue laughing and reliving the experience all the way to our cars.

From that day on whenever we got together for special occasions we called John. He never answered the phone so we left Merry Christmas, Happy Easter and Kwanzaa messages. We even called him when Barack Obama won the election. “Hey John! It’s Keisha! We did it. Yes we can and yes we did! Call me” He never did call (Kanye Shrug)

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Welcome to Lipgloss Life and Lattes. This blog is all about the misadventures and chronicles of self discovery of a twenty-something sista living in the SF Bay Area. Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoy :)