Have you ever had someone that you loved to see in private but didn’t want to take them out in public? I’ve had my share of “little secrets” (word to Xscape) but never because I was embarrassed to be seen with them, more because I keeps my business to myself.
The other day in Target while grabbing a box of Special K with red berries I overheard a conversation between two (I would assume) 20-something black men,
Man 1: Last Night my dude!
Man 2: Awwww yeah Kesh came over.
Man 1: Yeah you know she big but she puts it down.
Man 2: Big girls are the ish! They go above and beyond sheeeeeeeit!!!
Man 1: Yeah she know if she don’t she’ll be out. Don’t nobody want no big girl!
Man 2: I’m sayin! This aint the south fool!
(laughs from both)
Man 1: I saw her the other day and she was all smilin’ and sh*t. I shut that down!
Man 1: She know if she see me outside, act like she don’t know me.
Man 2: (laughs) Right! No one wanna be seen wit her big a$$!
I stood there with my box of cereal in midair feeling stuck. First of all, why is that conversation appropriate at all, let alone in a store. What bothered me the most wasn’t where they were but what they were saying. I didn’t say anything because that wasn’t my business to talk to them about their personal relations with whomever they choose to sleep with.
I’m not new to this so I’ve definitely heard this “big girls do it better” theory before. It just struck a nerve with me that these men were open to sexual relations with someone who they wouldn’t want to be seen in public with. So she’s good enough to please you and possibly have a child with but you don’t want anyone to know that you know her? Chile Please (© Chad “Ochocinco”)
I’m a strong advocate for women taking control of their sexual satisfaction with whomever they choose (safely of course). Do your thang sis, get yours! But don’t ever ever EVER let a man use you! I’m sure the woman that this man was sleeping with knew exactly how he felt about her. He didn’t seem like the type to mince words. At that point it’s on the woman to make the decision on how she is treated. Don’t even think about saying that the man lowered your self esteem…(cue Kat Williams)