I’m taking a small break from Mr. Whatever You Like, but don’t fret, Part 3 is coming later this week.
I was watching the new classic black love movie, Brown Sugar the other day with my boy and we came across the scene where Dre (Taye Diggs) is telling Sid (Sanaa Lathan) about his fiancé Reese (Nicole Ari-Parker)
“You know we all lookin’ for wifey material. A woman that’s fine smart classy but not a snob hella hella sexy but not a hoe that’s brown sugar”-Dre Ellis
I asked him what his ideal woman looked like. He said these days he was looking for a Claire Huxtable, Michelle Obama, and Beyonce all wrapped up into one woman. Someone that was educated and intelligent, could hold them down and yet not be walked all over and was as beautiful as they come physically. He wants a woman that is basically Superwoman. I asked well are you Superman? How can expect someone to be something that you are not?
Women want the same thing. The generation before us was crazy about Denzel. He’s an amazing actor, is absolutely and undoubtedly handsome, seems to love his wife immensely and comes off as a nice person despite his looks and success. Keep it real who doesn’t want someone that perfect? But we have to remember that no one is perfect. People can just be the best them that they can be. And if you want to attract a “perfect” man, you have to become the person you want to date.
As women I know we feel pressure to be the ideal woman. We want to cook gourmet meals, look like we stepped out of a magazine, hold meaningful conversations at any company party, and of course be able to put in down like a porn star in the bedroom. Every woman should strive to be the best that she can be. Also recognize that you shouldn’t be giving your all and going above and beyond for someone who isn’t willing to do the same for you
You can’t expect to land an ideal man when you’re sitting at home complaining about there are no good black men. You probably won’t find him on your couch. We have to be the best women that we can be. Your true colors will shine through and someone will see all of that good in you. However don’t fake it, you can only pretend to be someone you’re not for so long.
No one wants to give 100% and get 40% in return. That only leads to bitter “angry black women”. Know your worth and if you’re doing your best to be Superwoman be sure that you’ve found a Superman.
Quote from Brown Sugar 2002