Wednesday, December 15, 2010

5 First Date Deal Breakers

Most twenty something women have stories to tell, some good and some bad, about their dating experiences. I haven’t had many bad dates in my life (Thanks God) but I do have some dating deal breakers that I know would ensure that a second date is highly unlikely. 

Bad Table Manners
The most annoying thing in the whole entire world to me is mouth sounds. Do not smack your teeth, chew with your mouth open, slurp your soup, or any of that. I’m so serious about it I don’t even carry gum in my purse because if I offer you a piece and you smack or pop it, I’m liable to smack or pop you! Or better yet jump across the table and choke you (yahh!) Excuse me I’m sorry I’m really such a lady© Nicki Minaj. Seriously though, sucking your teeth or smacking your lips is torture, worse than nails on a chalkboard for me.

Last Minute Notice
“Can you come pick me up” and “I forgot my wallet” are first date suicide. If you are late we might not be going on a date ever again as well. This rule can be waived in case of dire emergency but under most circumstances if you’re tardy for this party the next time you come near it you’ll get tackled by security a la Robin Givens character in “Head of State”. If you “forget” your wallet, I suppose its time to roll up your sleeves to wash some dishes my dude. *Kanye Shrug*

Premature Signs of Affection
I’m somewhat of an old fashioned girl, a hand on my knee or walking with your arm around my waist is inappropriate first date behavior to me (in most cases). Trying to put your tongue in my mouth, hand on a butt cheek or boob and you’re liable to get cut. I’m not into PDA at all and I love my personal space but there’s something so arrogant about a man that just assumes I’m okay with his physical advances. I like a man with a big ego, but respect me and my space.

Bad Hygiene
When most people go on a date, especially a first date, they usually try to look their best. If you have bad hygiene on a first date that you were supposed to be “dressed up” for then you are likely a Funkmaster 3000 on the daily. No sir, no thanks.

Trying Too Hard
Yes this is a first date so please be on your best behavior, but keep it real. I want to get to the real you, not who you think I want you to be. I’m not easily impressed “Sendin’ me a drink aint appeasin’, believe me!” Word to Beyonce! If I’m on a date with you, I must have liked something so show me more of who I agreed to go on a date with and we’ll be fine. Besides ain’t nothing like the real thing baby.

What are your first date deal breakers? Share…


  1. I wish a nig would try to sneak some food off my plate without asking first smh, he'd get forked one good time lol

  2. I'm sayin that's super rude! I don't know you or your mouth like that to have your fork contaminating my food sucka!