Monday, May 2, 2011


The May 2011 issue of Essence magazine is “the girlfriends issue”. As I read through the issue a few weeks ago I was touched by all the wonderful things that these black women had to say about their best friends. So many times we see black women bashing each other and if you look at reality TV you would think that black women are incapable of being real friends with other black women.

It is so hard to find real girlfriends. I’m blessed to have a few in my life and my bestie is literally THE BEST.  I know a lot of women that I consider acquaintances; we can talk makeup, meet for coffee, go to club together or talk for hours on bbm or gchat when we’re bored, but these people aren’t my friends.

Real girlfriends are women that you can do all of the above with and much more. You don’t have to talk every day to know that they love you. They don’t gossip about you and they aren’t jealous of you. They keep it real when you have one eyebrow higher than the other, and let you know when you’re passing up a good man just because he doesn’t have everything that is on your list.  They bring you medicine when you’re sick, loan you money when you’re in a jam.  They are your support system and become part of your family.

Real girlfriends are there for you in good times such as your graduation, when you got promoted at work or when you got engaged. They are also there for you in bad times like the loss of a family member, when your man cheated on you or when you went to have an abortion and you didn’t want anyone to know.  They keep your secrets with no fear of them being shared with others. And the truly have your best interest at heart.

For all those of you who “don’t mess with females” or “don’t get along with women” be open when the right kind of woman comes along. Having a SO is great but he’s a man and it’s not the same, and having family is wonderful but there’s nothing like a true sisterfriend that really understands everything you go through and who you are. 

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