Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Can You Ever Really Be Friends With An Ex?

By the time most of us have reached the 20-something stage in life we have lived a little. Had a few good and bad relationships and some even that we wish never happened. But what happens when your ex is someone that you genuinely like as a person but the relationship just didn’t work out for one reason or another?

Being friends with an ex can be a great learning tool but it can also be very tricky. An ex can help you see what you did wrong in the past and help you to be a better girlfriend in the future. They know you so you can’t fake the funk with them about anything. It’s good to have a person around who really knows all your nuances; the way you bite your lip when you’re nervous or look down and use a qualifier when you’re lying.

The tricky part comes when one of you didn’t want the relationship to end. If he dumped you because he just wasn’t ready for all the commitment that comes with a relationship and now you’re trying to be friends but he’s getting engaged to this new chick that he’s known for 2 months and you guys just broke up a month ago that can be an issue. No matter if you’re over them or not no one wants to see the person they used to share intimate moments with kissing another person or talking about them all the time.

How do you make a friendship work when you’re not over them or they’re not over you? That leads to anger, jealousy, and not much of a friendship especially when you see them dating all kinds of other people. If the girl is a downgrade, lookin’ like Miss Celie you’re insulted like “Hmmph how you go from me to that?” If the girl is an upgrade you’ll find a reason to dislike her even if it’s something like “She thank she cute! Look at all that designer ish she’s rockin’. She prolly just wants to spend his money.” Cues Kanye’s “Golddiger”

Another issue that arises is when you get into a new relationship. How does your new SO feel about you spending time with someone that they are 100% sure that you used to sleep with? Awkward… That can lead to a lot of issues in your new relationship.

Is it worth it to keep an ex around as a friend? Weigh in

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