Friday, March 4, 2011

Lets Talk: Friends with Benefits

A friends with benefits situation is very common among 20-somethings. We want the booty without the commitment and drama. We’re busy women with blossoming careers, grad school study sessions, volunteering at church, and not to mention Sallie Mae blowing up our phones and gmail accts. That’s enough stress to have us singing “This here, celibacy thang…” (word to Jilly from Philly) But we all know that most friends with benefits situations end up in someone, usually us ladies, getting hurt.

You’ve known this Morris Chestnut look-a-like since high school and you’ve always had a crush on him. He hung out with the cool kids and you…weren’t as cool. Since then you’ve gone from Monica Wright to Sidney Shaw. You run into him again at a local show, you exchange twitter names and bbm pins. Another week goes by when the two of you decide to meet for coffee where you catch up on the past 7 years of your lives. That same weekend you get your dutty wine on at your local regaae club and decide to go home together. The s*x is spectacular ( I had to do it) and in your mind you have officially found your new BUDDY, word to De la Soul and Musiq.

As time goes on you continue to have wonderful times in and out of the bedroom. He invites you to parties and church events. You share lunches and dinners often, he even got you a Christmas present. You love it because times with him are really easy going and this is one of the nest relationship that you’ve been in since…well since…ever.  

Here comes the crazy part. Week 5 you learn that the person that he just broke up with and by just broke up with I mean is still dealing with is definitely still in the picture, when he shows up at a mutual friends party with her. It doesn’t help that she looks like Rochelle Aytes and has the attitude of Lilith. You can’t understand why he’s still dealing with her, she’s gorgeous but she’s thee queen b*tch. It’s whatever for the most part because you have your own life and you guys aren’t really dating.  You don’t have an issue with it until the girl is calling your phone and harassing you.

Now this man that you thought was the best thing since red velvet cupcakes has brought all this drama into your life. You don’t blame him for her actions but your feelings are hurt because although you weren’t official you spent so much time together that you started to catch feelings. You decide to end it, now you’re left with dealing with getting a restraining order against this crazy chick and a cold bed.

Do the pros ever outweigh the cons in a friends with benefit situation?

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