Monday, March 14, 2011

The 20-Something Serious Relationship Dilemma

So you’ve been dating your S.O for 3 years now. The relationship has had its ups and downs but the good definitely outweighs the bad. He’s seen you through graduation from college and grad school applications. You have enough of your stuff at his place to move in, he talks to your parents almost more than you do and you trust him with your life. With your busy schedule you don’t really have that much time to go out but when you do, you have a good group of friends that you like to spend time with aside from your S.O.

Now you’re in your mid to late twenties and you’ve come to a point in your relationship where everyone around you is inquiring about when you getting married. Of course you and S.O have thought and talked about marriage but one night sitting on the couch watching a movie you look at him and really see him. You think to yourself “I’m not getting any younger” and “Is this the person I really want to spend the rest of my life with?” You couldn’t see yourself with anyone else but at the same time you’re not sure that you’re ready to take it to the next level.

This happens to most of us. I call it the 20-something serious relationship dilemma. This happens when you’re in a point of your relationship that seems like you should be moving on to another level of commitment but you have some reservations. Don’t be concerned about a timeline when it comes to your relationship. Talk to the person that you are in a relationship with and go with what feels comfortable for you guys. Don’t move in with someone, get engaged or marry someone just because you’ve been together x-amount of years.

If you’re out and feeling like you’re missing out on something, be honest with yourself and think about if you still want to be in a relationship or if you want to be single and casually date. Don’t lie to yourself and stay in a relationship if it’s not working. Those are not wasted years, those are years in which you learned what you want and don’t want in a relationship, information that is so invaluable in your life.

However keep in mind the 80/20 rule. The grass often seems greener on the other side. I’ve been out to different events and even in my everyday life I don’t see anything better than what I have. It’s slim pickins out there!

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