Friday, October 8, 2010

A P3 Adventure: The Story of John

P3 Adventures are the antics of my crew and the things the 3 of us get into when we’ve had a few drinks in us. We are truly a mess. But we don’t hurt nobody  Enjoy…

One of the places in the Bay that my crew likes to go to shop, hang, and eat is Bay Street in Emeryville. Friday night a few years back I meet up with the usual suspects and we decide to go for our usual dinner and a movie. PF Changs is the restaurant of choice for the night. I love the orange chicken but other than that the menu is so-so. So we’re ki ki-ing and enjoying the scene. It’s Friday so the spot is poppin’ with young people, not too many cuties but what can you do? Black Brotha and I are the only ones drinking because BFF isn’t much of a drinker (she loves her Arnold Palmers)

It’s a warm summer night so afterwards we end up walking towards Barnes and Noble. I see a cutie going inside so we change plans to follow. At closer inspection brotha isn’t just a cutie he’s fine. I’m talking rugged a la Michael Ealy Fine. He has on a black leather motorcycle jacket and his helmet in his hand. (I have a thing for motorcycles) So I’m like check out dude.

Let me fix my hair. Yes Ma’am! Pass me my dress. ;)

We keep and eye on him as we check out the AFAM section on the 1st level. We see nothing that we don’t already have or haven’t already read (that we want). I start looking at the journals which are always near the register because cutie is heading to pay for his books. I want a closer look and since I had a few drinks I decide to stand next to him to find out his info. I’m not usually this chick (word to Jilly from Philly) but these few martinis are making me bold.

Everyone knows when you don’t have your membership card you can give your telephone number and your purchase can be counted towards your B&N rewards card. As I’m standing super close to him looking at Vera Bradley pens I’m eavesdropping. Mind you I’m trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, so I’m looking like these are the most beautiful and interesting pens I’ve ever seen. He gives his number and I think to myself okay this is my chance. I repeat the number over and over in my mind and tell it to BFF and Black Brotha as we quickly exit after him. “What are you gonna do call him?” BFF says.
“Yeah I’m bout to call him,” I say. I just want to see if he’ll answer. They laugh but they’re down for the plan. (We sometimes do the fool when we get together) As we walk back towards PF Changs we stop and call him. The 1st number is wrong. Damn! So we try a 2nd number. OMG It’s ringing…

Ring, ring, ring…
Man: Hello
Me: (eek face) Hello
Me: Is this John? (My mind is blank on a name. Looking back the man in B&N said his name was something like Rico)
Man: Yes this is John

My friends are looking like what? I mouth that the man’s name is John. They bust out laughing and kind of walk away so that John can’t hear them.

Me: Hey John! It’s Keisha

BFF and Black Brotha are doubled over with laughter. I’m really trying to stay on track and keep a level voice. What’s even funnier is that of all the names I could choose I picked Keisha. Anyone who knows me knows that I am far from a stereotypical Keisha (no shade). I sound more like a Rachel McAdams.

Me: Don’t you remember me?
Him: (Pause) No I’m sorry I don’t
Me: John! OMG I cant believe you don’t remember me?!
Him: Ummmm no sorry.
Me: Okay well maybe I’ll see you around John (sad voice)

After I end the call I start screaming with laughter. That was the craziest thing I've ever done. (Well maybe not) “Why did you say your name was Keisha?!” Black Brotha asks me.

“I don’t know it was the first name that came to my mind” I say. They laugh even harder. We continue laughing and reliving the experience all the way to our cars.

From that day on whenever we got together for special occasions we called John. He never answered the phone so we left Merry Christmas, Happy Easter and Kwanzaa messages. We even called him when Barack Obama won the election. “Hey John! It’s Keisha! We did it. Yes we can and yes we did! Call me” He never did call (Kanye Shrug)

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